Ok, so I tried to get a massage yesterday in hopes that it would relieve my back.  Nope.  Felt nice at the time.. but OH MY GOSH I can’t believe how much pain I am in.  It seems to be getting worse and worse as each day progresses.  I am having a hard time sitting at my desk, I don’t know what to do.  I thought about going to a chiropractor to adjust my spinal cord, as I believe that is obviously what is causing this. I can’t imagine what else it could be.  

I’ll tell ya.. crying at work every day is getting really old.  

No Idea..

So I had no clue how much pain this would cause.. my back hurts the WORST.  it aches and aches.. Mornings are the hardest time of the day.. My leg has been elevated for the most part, all night, and then trying to stand, and all the blood rushing down, holy hell shit it hurts.  And crutches.. don’t get me started.  I BLOODY HATE THEM.. They are causing rashes on my sides, and my arms.. my hands are bruised from the hand grip thingys..  SUCKS big time.  It’s been over a week now, and I am soooo tired of being in pain all the time.. I wish I could get my Back to stop hurting!!  I could at least function better.. 

So saturday, I was relaxing most of the day.. kept my leg elevated so that it kept the swelling down.  Well I went out back to pick up dog poop, and pretty much fell and ate shit.  I remembered to put the good leg down to break my fall, however, that ripped off the scab that I had there.  Like just ripped it right off.  Blood running down my leg.. Sucked.  So I said to myself “Self, we gotta clean this up and get the grass out of it”…  well, apparently now the nerve endings are exposed, and HURT LIKE HELL.  So I decided to put peroxide on it.  Shit, might as well have just poured a shitload of salt on it.  Prolly would have hurt less..  so I’m sitting there hollerin pretty loud and my lovely dog is next to me and starts howling.. LOL  Pretty funny actually.  So then I think, Ok, that hurt, lemme just pour some water on it..  Crap!  That hurt too!  Well, I got it cleaned up, and put some gauze on it.  Stupid.  That shit sticks to exposed skin like another skin.  Try getting THAT off.. I can’t seem to do anything right..  Now, I have to sleep with no shirt on, because they all stick to my shoulder, then I forget in the morning, and take a shirt off, and rip off half my shoulder in the process. So, I’m done sleeping in a shirt for a while.   The other day, I don’t know what I did, but I woke up in the morning, and when I sat up, I heard a “pop”.  Didn’t know what it was, but damn it hurts… and now it hurts in the FRONT like by my collar bone..  Someone just shoot me now.
Anyway… that’s how it’s going for me.  Shitty.  Hope life is better for all of you right now.. 😦


So, it was bound to happen eventually, I crashed my quad. The last couple times haven’t been too bad.. some scratched up plastics… a bit of road rash..  not too bad.  This time was a little different.  So we were all going across the lakebed about 40mph.  I’ve done this a million times.  I *thought* we were already passed the bomb craters so I was haulin ass.  There was a fair amount of dust blowin around from all the bikes, and once that cleared up I was right on top of  a huge crater.  I kinda knew already that I was done.  There was another one right behind it, so there was no saving myself.  I just hung on and hoped for the best.  I recall hitting the crater, and trying to correct the wheels to land, and that’s about it.  My girlfriend was behind me in the Rhino, and saw the whole thing.  She said that I held on for two flips, and then the bike threw me about 20 feet.  It certainly *FEELS* like it. (Thank God the kid was back at camp riding in the kids buggy with the boys and didn’t see it)  I don’t recall who was around me, as I was disoriented.  I remember trying to get up, but I was in a lot of pain and fell back down.  I recall my friend helping me to my feet and trying to get me to the Rhino.  I stood on my left leg, and then started to walk.  My right leg just rolled inside my boot and felt like mush.  I about took her 110lb ass down with me.  I didn’t recognize where we were, and I got a bit scared.. I don’t like that feeling AT ALL.  Anyhow, the ambulance took me to the ER in Joshua Tree (NEVER go to hi desert medical center).  It sucked ass.  They took xrays of my back and my ankle that I figured was broken.  Turns out, my back is good, however, every single muscle back there tightened up to prepare for the fall and has since stayed in that position.. HURTS LIKE HELL.  My ankle was ok.. not broken.. Thank Goodness.  Oh but wait, your Tibia and Fibula are both broken in half.  So much for hoping it was dislocated. So they picked me up, and we went back to camp..  I got a nice shower, and went to bed.  Funny thing is, I have two bones that are in HALF in my leg, and it doesn’t hurt near as bad as my back…  O well..  Because the breaks are so nice (nice?? that’s what my orthopedic said), I don’t have to have surgery so long as I stay off my right leg for 6 weeks.  Try driving with a right broken leg.. HAHA  Gas with right toes, break with left foot.. kinda fun! CRUTCHES SUCK!!  Anyone know what I should do to stop getting a rash on my sides??  Anyway, I should be able to walk by December 1st, and with a couple weeks of rehab, back on my bike for New Years…  Oh, after I fix one of the broken arm thingys that goes to the wheel, the skid plate, and my clutch.  My ice chest rack is all tweaked, but I’m leaving that alone.. It’s “custom” now.. 🙂  Need a reminder.. 

Well, I hope everyone had a great weekend!!  🙂  


I have been doing a lot of thinking these past couple months… well, more like weeks about the ability to change yourself in an attempt to “help” others change.  Sound weird?  Ya, I know.  Here’s the deal:  You can’t change how someone treats you.  You really can’t change anything about someone else.  What you CAN do, is change who YOU are as a person, and that itself, in return allows others to treat you differently/better etc…  

Lemme give you an example.  Say there is someone in your life who is constantly making digs at you or just cuts you down all the time.  There is a multitude of ways to handle this.  One, you can do as I have in the past and return all of the snide remarks and digs with even more of my own to further escalate the bullshit.  Which, in my personal opinion, after much experience with it, SUCKS ass.  However, I believe I have “seen the light” if you will, about how to handle people in my life.  I have made personal changes within myself to assist others in how to treat me.  First, I can see that it has helped a lot, BUT it has helped me (directly) as well.  I am slowly learning to control my OWN temper and not have such a short fuse.  This is very good for me.  I am also learning to hold my tongue.  THAT is huge..  apparently, not everyone wants to know my opinion… and what I feel I need to say doesn’t always matter.
So, I’ve noticed in people around me, that since I am trying to change me… that in turn is slowly changing them as well, and how they treat me.   It’s not fun to make digs at someone and not get anything back from them..  that gets old and boring, and thus they stop.  I know, rather elementary school-ish, but hey.. it’s working and I’m happy.  
“Live the life you love…. “

Good Times..

So I took my kid camping and dirt biking this weekend…  Thought it was going to be a beautiful weekend.. Anyway, so she has her quad and LOVES it..  Kicks ass on it.  Well, all of the kids out there were boys on dirt bikes.  She couldn’t keep up on her quad, so she was getting kinda pissed off.  So my buddy’s neighbor (Unbelievable patience!) said he would teach her to ride a dirt bike.  Wow.  My kid did GREAT!  I was really impressed.  She didn’t fall, and she even started to learn how to shift!  I took some pictures of her and can’t wait to see how they turned out.  She was awesome this weekend.  So I putzed around with all the kids..  The adults all took off to ride, and I hung with the kiddie bunch, and had a ball.. Did some serious off roading, and made new trails.  Took a couple out in the rhino and that was fun..  Didn’t scare them too bad. 😉 Took my godson (2) on the kids quad, and he had so much fun… Kept telling me “Go Auntie, Go!”  THAT was a blast right there..  It was very cool to just hang with the kids..  I think we crashed out at like 730 saturday night.. LONG DAY.

 The kid kept trying to get the kids to trade with her.  It actually worked out because the boys hadn’t ridden a quad before, so they had fun, and she got to practice riding a 2 wheeler.  So at one point on saturday, I had  all the kids out, and we were across from camp, well my kid didn’t see the berm, and just ate shit.  Flew off the quad like a rag doll. Landed pretty hard too.  She got a nice bruise on her hip too.  But after a nice 2 hour nap (that kid was exhausted) she was ready to roll again.. 
The winds kicked up soooo bad, about 40MPH and never died down on saturday.. hard to have a campfire without setting the entire place ablaze.  Sunday was great..  Beautiful, no wind.. So I took the kids for a nice trek before going home..  All in all…  GOOD TIMES.. 

What’s New..

Nothing really new on my end… there’s so much bullshit going on in my life, and I have come to find in some of those aspects, that I am a coward.  Plain and simple.  I know what my downfalls/weaknesses are.  Ok, pretty sure.  But you know what, it kinda sucks when you KNOW that some of these can be greatly improved if you removed certain things out of your life..  But, it also sucks when you get so accustomed to something that this shit becomes part of you.  Change sucks. And it hurts.  But, that said..  I really want to start making some changes, and pick myself up by the bootstraps (do people wear those anymore?) dust my butt off and see what types of changes I can make.   I REALLY wish it would cool down so that I can start riding my mountain bike again.. lately it’s just been unbearably hot and I am too tired by 11pm to go riding when it’s actually cooler.  I mean, a couple nights ago, it was still like 90 and humid at 10pm!  No thanks.. My fat butt can wait another week or so to get to exercisin’ again… 

Oh, I mentioned a while back that I found a bunch more poetry similar to when I started the blog.  I just need to throw some up here, but seems that I am only on the computer now when I’m at work.. (ssshhhh don’t tell the boss)..  so I’ll get to it pretty soon.. 
Anyway, I hope everyone is doing well..  
Til next time…