Well, I am heading out today for the long holiday…  Going to spend some time in the dirt… Ya, I know nothing new.. LOL  Anyway, just wanted to wish everyone a Happy and Safe Thanksgiving.. Among the many things I am thankful for, I am thankful that the quad accident wasn’t any worse than it was, and that I am still alive to BE thankful… We have so much to be thankful for. 




OK, so this past weekend, I went to get up from the couch, had a MAJOR brainfart, and forgot to grab my crutches..  and proceeded to try to walk..  caught myself, (whew) before anything happened.  Thank Goodness..  

Well, that got me thinking.. so last night, I thought to myself “Self, let’s try this again…”  So I did.  But I still had my crutches, and tried to use them as little as possible.  I could actually take a couple steps on the ball of my foot (tip toe ish)  I could do it!!!  Ya’ll have NO idea what an awesome feeling that was!  I mean, I know I’m not supposed to walk, and again, kinda hoping for the whole “House” thing but hey..  (I’m sure most people would say my attitude is rather similar, shall we say haha)  It’s really difficult to be optimistic in such situation when it doesn’t seem there is any light at the end of the tunnel.  But man, that made such a beautiful light that I can now see.
Anyway… just wanted to share because it was huge to me.  Oh, and I went to the chiropractor yesterday.. hurt pretty bad.  like so much so, made me scream in pain and cry.  MUCH more than the first time he tried to adjust.  So it turns out, everything else is doing great.. Hips are back in alignment, my neck is great, but that damed area where the rib was dislocated is just shitty.  So they are doing a deep ultrasound on the muscles/tissue next to that area, to try to break it down and get blood flow to it, to see if that will help.  IT BETTER..  I’m not kidding when I say I’d rather go thru giving birth AND all the bullshit I went thru after that than deal with this… it sucks.  
Anyway, progress.. it’s a GREAT THING..  😀

This is one of my ALL TIME favorite quotes, and it can be applied to almost anyone at any time.  I’m gonna have a good ending…  I just know it.  XOXO to all 

Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today to make a new ending..  


So, it’s now Fall.  Really wouldn’t know it in So Cal.  We’ve had temperatures still in the 90’s going on, and then at night dropping to like 45/50.  Typical.  Anyway, I guess I’m starting to enjoy fall.. STARTS to cool off, fire pits n sweatshirts & being cozy..  kinda nice for a change..  Wore jeans today for the first time in months..  Still have the one flip flop going on tho. 😉  

So I get my cast off on Dec 4th.  Kinda curious what happens after that.  It will be 7 weeks since the crash, I wonder if I will start walking with a cane like “House”.. 😀  HAHA  Made myself crack up a little there.  That might work for a while, so I don’t put all my weight back on my leg again.  Ah well, who knows.  I am very much looking forward to walking again.  Amazing the things we take for granted on a daily basis.  Besides walking, the ability to see, or hear even.  Anyway, before this gets all sentimental, listen to all the sounds and see all of the good things in life.. appreciate what you have.  Later.


Weekend from Hell..

This has been like one of THE WORST weekends.  Friday I went to the Chiropractor to start getting my back better.  Turns out (long story short) since the accident on Oct 18th, I’ve been walking around with a dislocated Rib.  No wonder I’ve been in so much pain.  Dr couldn’t believe I waited as long as I did (besides fighting with insurance who maintains it’s not medically necessary to see a chiro)…  Anyway.  So on to the rest.  

Saturday morning about 930am a fire broke out by the 91/71 fwys.  I was going into to Orange County to visit my girlfriend and her kids, then my sister.  I figured that it was “just another fire”, and no big deal.  
PhotobucketSo I go out there, hang out for a bit and at about 2 (after taking numerous pictures) decided I better head out to find out how to get home.  I get on the 57 northbound, and right about Imperial Hwy, I see cars turning around, and going UP THE ONRAMP.  Wrong way guys.. Idiots.  (The freeway was closed at Lambert).  
Then people were getting out of their cars and walking away.  Anyway, I get off at Lambert and think, ok, maybe the canyon is open.  So I head that way.  That was where the Brea Cyn fire started.  I have a video of all of the flames that I encountered on the way to the Canyon.  I get to the cyn and they turned me around and said No.  It’s closed, it’s ALL on fire.  Great.  So I make A GIANT circle and pretty much back where I started at it’s been almost 1 1/2 hours now.  I decided to go up to Harbor and hit Pathfinder.  NIGHTMARE.  It took me over 4 hours to get home where it is usually 20 minutes.  So I got home and some friends came over and we could see over the hills where the amber color was from the fires.  It looked pretty cool  (Yes, stupid comment, but it did)  Anyway.  Went inside about 1030 and things were still ok.  Woke up because it started to stink (fire) pretty bad at about 3am.  Went outside, and the entire hills were on fire.  
PhotobucketThey evacuated the street behind me.  My neighbors were all out and we all just watched the fire for a while.  I got stuff ready to evacuate, but thank the Lord, I didn’t have to.  Talk about scary.  That was soo close and I’ve never had to evacuate, or gotten this close to it.  I haven’t had a whole lot of sleep, so I’m rather tired, and I’m at work today but school is closed (thank goodness) because of air quality.  There’s a bunch more but that’s the jist of it, and I’m glad it’s pretty much over.  And I’m safe.  And Blessed.  😀

Good News..

So Went to the dr yesterday for another xray.  Seems that falling the other day at work “reset” the breaks in my leg, and they are aligned VERY well now..  Imagine that.  Weird.  LOL.  So, since all that, I decided that I need one of those casts that are hard.. like when you break your arm.  No more of that stupid soft cast that seemed to be more dangerous to me.  So, with this new hard cast, I am able to sleep better, and more comfortably since it’s not so bulky.  Oh, and I made sure it was black.  Tried to get it like Black and Gold for my Steelers, but no gold.  So it’s just black, kinda glad, now no one can write on it.  HAHA.  So 3 weeks, and then it comes off, get an xray and see if I can start walking on it.  I’m pretty stoked today.  Progress.  The blood clots are just about gone I guess, because I can’t feel that “pain” anymore.  Yay.  Blood thinners still suck tho.  And, today I am going to the Chiropractor. I think my back is sooo jacked up it’s gonna take years to fix, but hopefully with an adjustment today, I may be heading on the road to less pain.  I hope.  It’s killing me.  Wish me luck.  Oh, and have a great weekend!!

Still looking..

Hey all.. I am still looking for this background.. I still can’t find it. this is just a screenshot..  If anyone has it or can point me in the right direction.. lemme know.. Please.. Thanks.


The Kid..

Hope everyone had a great weekend.. I’m kind of tired.  Well, maybe not so much tired as frustrated.  Maybe both. Frustrated as all hell, because I still can’t walk.  I mean that alone… Is killing me.  I am pretty independent and much prefer to do things myself.  Not having to ask someone for help or to do something for me.  And now, I find myself doing just that.  It sucks.

I was finding myself trying to still doing things on my own for a bit, which I am still able to do.. you know, like go pee by myself, that kind of thing.  I can shower by myself now, that took a bit to get used to.. but I can do it.  I can even give my puppies a bath in the shower on my own!  Anyway, So this whole thing has been quite an adjustment.  There are things still, If I don’t do them, they won’t get done.  So that puts me between a rock and a hard place.  I mean, I am supposed to STAY OFF my leg.  Period.  (Oh, and I don’t have to have surgery as of yet.. Dr said the slip is very slight, and to stay off it and wait another week (this thursday) to check xrays again.. )  So, trying to stay off my leg, while cleaning the bathroom, and vaccuuming, and doing a bunch of laundry oh, and changing the sheets on our beds.  I’ll tell ya, the kid has been such a ROCK for me.  She’s done soo much to help me and with minimal complaining.  “Why do I have to be such a slave mom?!?!”   haha.  She kicked her shin on the table and started hollering about it, so I looked at her and said “Hhhmm  my leg is broken.  Do you see me acting like that?”   She said “No, but you’re bigger and you can handle it.  I’m just a kid and IT HURTS!”.. LOL I feel really bad for her today.  She’s been doing so much and being such a help, so last evening, she was holding Max (her guinea pig) and brought him to me and said “Mom, why is max so tired?”  I held him for a minute and anyone that has a guinea pig knows they dart around everywhere, and RARELY sit still..  Well, Max just laid in my hand and was “sleepy”.  So, I had the not so pleasureable experience of telling the kid last night that Max wasn’t going to make it.  She had just been to Petco yesterday and saw rats and stuff on those running wheels.. so she said “Mom, Max is going to the Big wheel in the sky huh?”  Talk about heart breaking.  So we sat with him and pet him for a bout an hour to make him comfortable.  We had to run to a friends to pick up the fire pit (chilly last night!) and so we did that.  I think Max waited til the kid left for a few minutes, and then died while she was gone.  Thought that was pretty cool of him.  Burial services and ceremony will be held this evening at the house.  
See you up in the “big wheel” in the sky someday Max.  Rock on dude. 

It got worse..

Well, I have been doing everything I was told by my dr’s to do.  I mean, I’m not out running (LOL) marathons, or doing stupid shit…  I lay on the couch with my leg elevated above my heart, and still I get blood clots.. 4 actually.  I’m sure I asked already, but ANY idea how much those HURT?  HOLY crap, I wasn’t kidding when I said I’d rather give birth again.  (Ya, not gonna happen, but still).  So I go in weekly for an x-ray to see how the progress of healing is going. Apparently, as of yesterday, it’s not.  Like at all.  As a matter of fact, the bones “Slipped”.  So, how does THAT happen when you are laying down on a couch with a pit bull as a blanket?  I mean, really..  I ‘m not putting pressure, or weight or ANYTHING on this stupid leg!  So… after talking to the Dr yesterday, “it just happens”.  And the blood clots, might have contributed to it as well.  Regardless, I’m pissed now.  I *thought* I was doing everything right to AVOID surgery, guess not.  Here’s the kicker.  I’m on blood thinners.  And going in for surgery.   Hhhmm ya, sounds pretty shitty if you ask me.  Yes, there is the possibility that I could “bleed out” I believe are the words he used.  So, now gotta figure out the least intrusive way to do this so that I can have surgery next friday, lay around and rest during the weekend, and then back to work on Monday.  Oh. Goodie.  Can’t wait.   So… what next?  Anyone??? 

What else.. ?

So Halloween was a bust.. I couldn’t walk to take the kid trick or treating, and that really bummed me out.. Saturday was ok, I pretty much laid around all day trying to keep my leg up.. Sunday.  Now there’s a great day. I cried ALL day long.  My leg was hurting throbbing all the way from the back of my calf up then, behind my knee, up the back of my thigh and up my inner thigh.  Took some of the pain pills, nothing.  Took the muscle relaxer, figuring that might help nothing.  Kept crying.  Ok, finally got to a point at about 5 or so, I called the on call orthopedic doctor.  Kinda glad I did.  He said to go in because it sounded like there might be a blockage in my veins.  So I took myself to the ER sunday.  Turns out, dealing with all that pain all day long and the previous night, I have a rather large blood clot, and quite a few others.. If anyone has had blood clots before (which I have not), OH MI GOSH, this pain is unbelievable.  I guess, the blood isn’t flowing back up my leg, which makes it feel like its major cramping and hurts to touch.  My skin is warm there too.  I just hate the fact that it just creeps up on me, and I start crying like right in the middle of a sentence (no joke, like right now).  THIS SHIT SUCKS.  I don’t know how much more I can physically take.  Shit I would MUCH prefer to give birth than go thru this..  I am trying to see if I can work from home the rest of the week, because I just can’t elevate my leg without it hitting my calf which is in a rather large amount of pain.

I think sunday was the first time I was ever in the ER when I could honestly say that the amount of pain I was in was a 10.  It fukn HURTS.  
So after finding the blood clots, they put me on Coumadin for the next THREE MONTHS.  Great.  But, before the coumadin kicks in I have to give myself a shot of  100mg of Lovenox every night which helps to treat and prevent blood clots.  They gave me some Ativan too because I’ll tell ya, with a broken leg AND blood clots, makes it rather almost impossible to get comfortable to sleep, so I just lay and cry.  I took one of those last night before bed.  DURING THE STEELER game mind you.  Yes, I did fall asleep rather quickly, (which is new, and kinda nice), BUT, I woke up at 2am crying.  So, had to get up to get pain pills again..  I can’t WAIT until this blood thinner crap starts to work, standing hurts, especially first thing in the morning.. that’s a good 10 minute cry until my leg is used to being on the ground again.. I want to get back in bed now.  What really sucks, is getting so frustrated at the pain, and annoyance of all this bullshit, that now and again I chuck the crutches across the room and whatever, and then sit there cuz I can’t reach them, and then cry some more.  For someone who don’t cry too much.. I’ve done enough of it in the last two weeks to last me the rest of my life.