So, twelve years ago today.. RIGHT NOW.. I was in the hospital napping I think.. waiting for my only child to enter the world. The day was mostly uneventful besides finding out I was out of amniotic fluid, so they had to “replenish” it for me. At about noon~ish while listening to her heart beat on the monitor, I heard a “pop/swoosh” kind of noise. Made me raise my eyebrows (because I can’t do just one, which sucks.. ) and suddenly it hit me.. MY water broke! HAHA Again, made me think “that’s weird, I thought I was out of water.. ” Anyway, yes, my water broke. So after that, I decided to take another nap. Trying to get in as many as I can before she shows up to turn my sleeping patterns upside down. I slept for a few more hours, and then the anesthesiologist came in to give me an epidural. I argued with her for a bit, because I wasn’t in any pain, and didn’t need it. All she said was “Trust me. Roll over”. Okie dokie! Back to sleep. I started feeling “it” about 6pm or so. Time to get up and walk around the hospital. Didn’t seem to do a whole lot of good. But, at about 9pm, (NYPD Blue was on mind you I LOVE Sipowitz) I was watching TV and I KNEW she was ready. I hollered at the nurse that “somebody better hurry up and catch this thing because she was coming out in a hurry”! Three pushes later, and there she was. This big head, little tiny body alien thing. Seriously, her head was GINORMOUS. Not misshapen or anything, just BIG. She was THE happiest baby. I remember my dad coming in to the room and holding her, and for those that KNOW my dad, will laugh here… he said “When do the eyes open?” Um, Dad, she’s not a puppy. smh. Now, being pregnant, and labor, and giving birth, TOTAL piece of cake. For reals. It was a breeze.. no morning sickness, I only gained like 27lbs total.. Easy Peasy. Now, AFTER all that, worse thing in my life. I knew then, that I would never have more kids. To put it mildly, hemorrhaging, tons of blood loss, vomiting (ON people no less), passing out repeatedly, etc… I know the nurses hated me. I was told it was a ‘fluke’ thing. I disagree. I wasn’t supposed to ever be able to HAVE children, and I think that was part of why. Anyway, I had jaundice for a like a week, constipated as all get out taking mass amounts of iron. I remember the day I brought her home.. I was rocking her in the chair and watching the clock on the wall and she was bawling. No idea why. When her dad came home, he came into her room, where I was also bawling. He freaked out, asking what was wrong, and honestly I had NO IDEA. She cried, so I cried. What a life changing event. I can’t imagine for a second what my life would be like without her. She’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and probably ever will do. How she turns out as a young woman will be a direct reflection on my abilities as a “Mom” in raising her. 12 years, so far so good… I’m crossing my fingers the next 12 aren’t too bad.
I love you Dano. To the moon and back.