Is it just me..

I dunno if it’s a “chick thing”, or what, but seriously, for NO REASON I am in “one of those moods”.. I know I’ve been here before, but this time, I don’t know if I’m depressed, or upset or blah or what.  I’m tired of being thrown under the bus (work related), repeatedly no less, I’m tired of making people a priority when no one does that for me (everyone in general)..  No I don’t do it to get something in return but Christ… I exist too.  I need “help” sometimes too.  I want friends too..  For reals, this is NOT a pity party.. just venting to get it off my chest I think so maybe I’ll feel better..  Dano is making me I~N~S~A~N~E lately.  Her constant “I forgot my homework at school” bullshit is making me go gray like 100x faster than usual.  And, I’m SURE I’m losing my hair too now.  I told her last night, (not very prettily I might add) that I’m done, and at court next month I’m giving the other parental figure joint custody back.  I told her I can’t do it anymore. I go out of my way for her, do everything I can for her, and no matter WHAT I say, it means NOTHING to her.  Ya ya she’s almost 12 and is “at that age” where she doesn’t give two shits about what I say blah blah yadda yadda.  I don’t care.  I am the MOM and if you don’t want to listen to me, and you think it’s bad here.. good, GO STAY WITH HIM.. you will PRAY to whoever to get you out of that.. AGAIN.  So, after I let her have it, (on the drive home when I picked her up from “his” house), she immediately walked into the house, went straight to the shower, then got her pj’s on, made both our lunches (samwiches) for today, got all her school work ready (backpack loaded up) and laid out her school clothes.  All without me saying a word.  Well, besides all the “words” I’d used on the way home.  Maybe it did “click”… we’ll see.  I’ll have a better idea if she conveniently forgets her homework again today…  


side note:  I think I use “”””” (quotes) too much.. reminds me of Joey on Friends mis using “air quotes”.. LMAO!


Ok, so yes.. I’m having a hard day..  Am I a horrible mom for telling her what I did about custody? I mean, really, how much am I do put up with?? I can ground her, but that really does nothing because she’d rather be spending her time doing things with me (Weird child, I know)… suggestions?? THOUGHTS?

Advertisements

Struggles..

Struggles.. that’s a good word.. I haven’t been on in a while.. haven’t been motivated. In the least. That roller coaster I mentioned.. still going on.. some days are better than others of course.. Human nature. Today.. nothing new really.. I’m going to go to a friends wedding in Laughlin at the end of the month.. 15 minute wedding, and then on the water by 10am.. gotta love it. Nice 3 day weekend. The kid has been gone for 2 weeks in Lake Tahoe with her aunt.. She has been swimming, playing in the lake (but not too far in.. there are crawdads you know.. LOL) oh, and white water rafting.. she texted me the whole time she was gone telling me of all she did.. I love that she’s 9 yrs old, and that she is responsible enough to let “MOM” know what’s going on.. like “Hi mom, going to play mini golf.. love you!” Love that.. 😀

So she was supposed to go on a cruise next week with her grandparents.. Apparently she decided she’d rather not. She firmly stated “Grama, I am NOT going on the cruise.. Have you NOT seen Titanic!?! No way.. thank you but no.” Period. Kid is crazy sometimes.. could have gone to 3 different countries.. maybe when she’s older.. So she got back from her mini vacay yesterday.. Gawd I missed her. I swear she grew an inch (ok, she DID, but prolly not in that 2 wks).. her hair turned BLONDE! Whatsupwiththat!?!? Anyway.. I struggled while she was gone.. missed her to death.. My sister is going to visit some family in Arizona (Hey Cuz!!) this weekend, so I told the kid that “auntie and girls are going to arizona”.. she said “Oh really!?! Can I go!?!? ” I said sure… if you want to.. she stopped for a second and said “Nah.. I want to be with you Mommy”.. Can’t argue with that.. 😀

FUN..

Oh my goodness… had a ball last night..  So the kid had an appt with a psychologist (she goes every week) but, we were actually having fun shopping and decided not to go this week.. I “REALLY” needed to spend some quality time with my kid.. (for my benefit.. )

So, that out of the way, she found these cool “lee press on” nails (Anyone remember those?) at the store.  They were painted black  with skulls on them.. (So her style. LOL) Inside the skull was a pink jewel for an eye. Pretty cool actually.  So she put those on.  Thought she was hot shit.  Yes, really.  She then decided it was time to play Beauty Shop.. as in let’s put as much make up on mom and do her hair with 13 ponytails and 25 hair clips.. “beauty shop”.  Oh boy. Fun.

We had a blast!!  I think I have the beginnings of 32 new pimples after surviving 5 layers of make up. But hey, thats the sacrifice I make for fun time with my kid.  🙂

I was about ready to do the red carpet walk until she decided I needed flower decals on my finger nails too.. since she had the awesome nails.. LOL    After she made me look the most gorgeous I ever have.. I did her hair and makeup..  I know I am biased, but my goodness my daughter is beautiful.  Without makeup I mean..  So I put her hair in two little indian like braids, and put some makeup on her.  For a tomboy, she was LOVIN IT!!!  She was diggin the make up and the nails which was pretty cool to watch..  I love my kid more than anything..  Her friend thought it was “so rad” that I let them put make up on me… LOL  My kid says to her “Ok, you can’t make my mom look bad tho, because she’s going to put these on facebook and like celebrities will see them!”  Bless her heart, she believes that and I love it.  This is one of those BIG ASS SMILE on my face days… and I love that.

Smiling..

So, it’s been a pretty good week.. Kinda random and funny actually.. Monday was pretty good.. worked, watched some movies, could NOT go to sleep.. was up til about 145am, then finally fell asleep (pretty sure.. ) and was up at 545am for work.  Wonder of wonders, I wasn’t TIRED.  Kinda nice actually.  Maybe I’m getting too much sleep.. is that possible?  Anyway.. Oh!  My friend.. seems she fractured TWO bones, and another one got “pushed back”..  So the specialist pulled it forward and it’s in a splint now.. til like tuesday.  And she’s off work.. how nice is that to have like a bazillion sick hours and be able to veg out for a whole week and do nothing..  I hate that she’s hurt, but I’m jealous of that.. 😀 

So, let’s see Tuesday was pretty cool.. found out my next door neighbors close escrow somewheres else on May 5th.. THAT makes me sad.. we just start hanging out and playing beer pong a lot, and become quite good friends, and they are leaving.. about 4 houses on the street hung out that night, and she decided that she doesn’t want to leave now.. that sucks.. Because, I think I am going to move also.  Not for anything about the neighborhood (LOVE IT) or the people, they are fantastic.. it’s the house.  HATE IT.  No carpet etc.. I’ve mentioned the multitude of reasons I don’t like it before..  So.. found a place that I like it’s 1/2 an acre and has a tack room for the kid to play in.. LOL  Nice place and it’s a couple hundred cheaper!!  So, gonna go check it out this weekend.. Anyway, so yesterday (wednesday).. what a random funny day.  Started out, me and the kid were getting coffee at 7-11.  She knows how to make my coffee for me, and so we got the hazelnut creamer little thingys and I have NO idea what I was thinking, I was opening them and pouring them into the trash… The kid says “Mom.. aren’t those supposed to go in the cup?”… we were laughing sooo loud, and even Snorting!  It was hilarious!  So, that started the day, and long story short.. it was a great day… hung out with the kid, had a great time… laid with her in bed last night til she talked herself to sleep… My heart is sooo full and I can’t think of a word to describe the feeling.. Sooo much love..   So today.. I am going to take a late lunch and go take some Nachos to the kid and have lunch with her at school..  She said “We can sit at the peanut free table and eat together mom”..  Yay.. allergy free lunch.   Love her.

Holidays are comin….

Sorry, but that just SUCKS. I mean, the day after Halloween, they start with the Christmas music. I remember (not too long ago I thought) when Christmas music didn’t start until the day after Thanksgiving… what happened?!?! In a couple years, they’ll start the “CHRISTMAS SEASON” on July 5th. Blech.
Well, after spending MANY years with a multitude of family and them slowly dying or moving away, Christmas became rather Blah. Then came the kid. And of course, as she gets older, Christmas is becoming a little more fun I guess. Just seeing her light up putting up decorations is just great. I decided when the kid was born that I wasn’t going to do the whole red/green Christmas colors anymore.. Too many memories from Me being a kid.. I like Blue. So I changed Christmas at my house to Blue, White and Silver. (Not for any religions reasons, I just like it). And so does she. So tonight, I think after school me and the kid are going to start the Christmas festivities and begin decorating. That really sets it off for me.. Seeing her get so excited about it all. Kinda nice for me too tho, I let her decorate how ever she wants. So she is rather proud of herself for a great job, and I get to see all her hard work and that big huge smile on her face…
So, the holidays are coming, and ok, I’m getting a little better with it all.. I’ll let ya know how the decorating goes…

“Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family:
Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one.” Jane Howard

My Baby..

So I decided that for the “picture”… i’ll just change it up as my mood changes… I like todays Ha Ha
Anyway, so Yesterday was Halloween… Went to a friends to help move furniture around in the new house and take the kid trick or treating. Was a good night.. kinda chilly, bunch of friends, kids, beer and a firepit. (No not kids and beer, kids got candy.. LOL) It was a fun time all around. So my kid went out twice and got a grip of candy. Like she really needs that. So we came back to the house, and somehow ran out of candy to hand out. So my kid, God love her, gave up all her candy to give out to the trick or treaters. And, it was her idea. I was so proud. She is just great. 😀
She did go back out with some friends, and got a little more candy that she got to keep.. so, I just HAD to share that, because she is soo awesome. My Baby Girl…

“Do unto others…. “

Me Time..

Well, I got my “Me” time.. LOL. I got sick. Had to take time off work, and spent 4 days just relaxing and resting and sleeping. A LOT. 14 or so hours a night, and then napping during the day. To be honest.. It was really nice. Anyway, my brother finishes his time in 6 days. Then he’s off to Idaho to live with the folks. I”m happy for him, he really needs to get out of here.. I’ll be leaving around the same time to go out of state for work. Just for a couple days, but it will be really nice to get away for that short period of time.
Because I have been doing everything for everyone else lately, I seem to have been neglecting my kid. Not in the sense that I don’t talk to her or ignore her. I have just assumed she was doing well at school, and doing homework as she should. Ya, Not exactly. Now, I’m having issues with her… She doesn’t seem to want to do any school work. Or stop talking during class. Or stop getting out of her seat.. Go figure. I could say “she’s 7, they do that”, but I think it’s more of a lack of my parenting skills. Or maybe teaching skills. So I need to spend more time with her, and “teach” her things. I’m not the smartest person, but I think I have some things that I can teach her to maybe help her along. All I want is for her to succeed. Somehow. And I will do whatever I have to, to help her. She is going to have it better than I did. I want her to have everything she wants, but to also APPRECIATE it all.
Ok, enough of my whining.. She is a good kid tho. I know she is normal. Well, as far as normal goes right?

“A characteristic of the normal child is he doesn’t act that way very often.” Author Unknown