Things happen…

For a reason. ūüôā ¬†So y’all know I REALLY wanted to move to that house in Eastvale.. ¬†They chose to rent to someone else. ¬†I was seriously bummed when I found out. ¬†But I am learning more and more that things REALLY DO happen for a reason. ¬†I don’t have to KNOW the reason, or even like it, but they happen. ¬†Turns out, I don’t have to move… yet. ¬†Looks like the landlord got the financial mess cleaned up and therefore I get another summer with my pool. ¬†I should say my dogs pool. ¬†Its NOT heated but the dogs will go swimming ANY chance they get… so will Dano actually. ¬†HAHA ¬†It’s another “good day”… it’s kinda nice having more of these days than shitty ones. ¬†I hate shitty days. ¬†Tonight I decided to start back doing pilates, and trying to work out again. ¬†I hit a plateau on my weight loss, and I noticed that my butt is trying to touch the ground… Gravity sucks. ¬†(Don’t ask… that bird just made me smile!! ¬†LOL)

another year..

Another year has come and gone. ¬†This is the last of my 30’s.. Makes me a little sad. ¬†Dano and I went to lunch yesterday (Yes, I kept her out of school. ¬†It’s good to play hooky once in a while no?) and had a really fun day together. ¬†Amazing that, this child that I created, has such different tastes than I do!! HA! ¬†We went to Buffalo Wild Wings, which we both love, (THANK GOODNESS!) and she learned more on how to play poker with that table game thingy… I know, Mom of the year right? ¬†haha ¬†Anyway, after that she decided she wanted to get a DRESS for her Star award banquet this coming Friday. ¬†Each year for state testing she’s always scored almost the top of the class, last year was no exception. ¬†She’s getting another Gold Medal. ¬†ūüôā ¬†I am very proud of her. ¬†Now, back to the “taste” in clothing thing… hhmmm, where do I even start? ¬†Things I picked out thinking, “kinda plain, simple, she’s not really into dresses so these should be safe”… she turns around and picks out PROM dresses! ¬†WTH!?! ¬†Like with FLOWERS and lace and ruffles and “poofy” bottoms… ¬†I. Don’t. Get. It. ¬†WHO is this kid?! ¬†Long story short, WE decided on a black dress, thicker “lace” strap thingys which are a bit wider than the two finger width requirement, and a “shrug”. ¬†WHAT is that anyway? ¬†Oh, Newsflash. ¬†I don’t WEAR dresses. ¬†Or “shrugs”, whatever they are. ¬†She did look beautiful when she was trying them all on. ¬†THAT was actually fun. ¬†OH! WHAT 12 year old (barely) girl wears a 9 1/2 shoe!!? Good grief, I am having issues.. HAHA ¬†Her feet are bigger than mine, her poor chest is bigger than mine EVER was at any age near 12 (I was a late bloomer, flat chested til almost 14) I can’t stop smiling right now. ¬†As frustrating as my 12 year old is, she is SUCH a blast. ¬†I can honestly say I know I wasn’t anything like her at 12. ¬†I was more reserved, took care of my younger siblings, played “Mom” for years… so it’s hard for me to figure out WHO this kid is that I am trying to raise. ¬†Quite honestly, so far so good. ¬†I may be right, or wrong, who knows, but she is my very best friend in the world. ¬†I am her mother first, but man, when I don’t have to be “Mom”, we have such a great time together. ¬†I am trying to cherish every minute of this, because I fear like all mothers do, that she’ll hit the magical age where she will hate me. ¬†She will stop telling me everything. ¬†I will be the “enemy”. ¬†I can’t bear that thought yet. ¬†We’ve discussed that, we’ll I’ve brought it up to her, and then she cries and tells me she will NEVER ever hate me, and that she wants to be with me forever.. ¬†I know, a 12 year old talking… ¬†I just want life to slow down a little bit, and keep my little girl little, as long as I can…. ¬† Happy Birthday to me. ¬†ūüôā

This was the day before her 3rd Birthday at Disneyland 9 years ago… Just the two of us.. THAT was a great Birthday… ūüôā¬†

That time again..

So, twelve years ago today.. RIGHT NOW.. I was in the hospital napping I think.. waiting for my only child to enter the world. ¬†The day was mostly uneventful besides finding out I was out of amniotic fluid, so they had to “replenish” it for me. ¬†At about noon~ish while listening to her heart beat on the monitor, I heard a “pop/swoosh” kind of noise. Made me raise my eyebrows (because I can’t do just one, which sucks.. ) and suddenly it hit me.. MY water broke! ¬†HAHA ¬†Again, made me think “that’s weird, I thought I was out of water.. ” ¬† Anyway, yes, my water broke. ¬†So after that, I decided to take another nap. ¬†Trying to get in as many as I can before she shows up to turn my sleeping patterns upside down. ¬†I slept for a few more hours, and then the anesthesiologist came in to give me an epidural. ¬†I argued with her for a bit, because I wasn’t in any pain, and didn’t need it. ¬†All she said was “Trust me. ¬†Roll over”. ¬† Okie dokie! ¬† Back to sleep. ¬†I started feeling “it” about 6pm or so. ¬†Time to get up and walk around the hospital. ¬†Didn’t seem to do a whole lot of good. ¬†But, at about 9pm, (NYPD Blue was on mind you I LOVE Sipowitz) I was watching TV and I KNEW she was ready. ¬†I hollered at the nurse that “somebody better hurry up and catch this thing because she was coming out in a hurry”! ¬†Three pushes later, and there she was. ¬†This big head, little tiny body alien thing. ¬†Seriously, her head was GINORMOUS. ¬†Not misshapen or anything, just BIG. ¬†She was THE happiest baby. ¬†I remember my dad coming in to the room and holding her, and for those that KNOW my dad, will laugh here… he said “When do the eyes open?” ¬†Um, Dad, she’s not a puppy. ¬†smh. ¬† Now, being pregnant, and labor, and giving birth, TOTAL piece of cake. ¬†For reals. ¬†It was a breeze.. no morning sickness, I only gained like 27lbs total.. Easy Peasy. ¬†Now, AFTER all that, worse thing in my life. ¬†I knew then, that I would never have more kids. ¬†To put it mildly,¬†hemorrhaging, tons of blood loss, vomiting (ON people no less), passing out repeatedly, etc… ¬†I know the nurses hated me. ¬†I was told it was a ‘fluke’ thing. ¬†I disagree. ¬†I wasn’t supposed to ever be able to HAVE children, and I think that was part of why. ¬†Anyway, I had jaundice for a like a week, constipated as all get out taking mass amounts of iron. ¬†I remember the day I brought her home.. I was rocking her in the chair and watching the clock on the wall and she was bawling. No idea why. ¬†When her dad came home, he came into her room, where I was also bawling. ¬†He freaked out, asking what was wrong, and honestly I had NO IDEA. ¬†She cried, so I cried. ¬†What a life changing event. ¬†I can’t imagine for a second what my life would be like without her. ¬†She’s the best thing I’ve ever done, and probably ever will do. ¬†How she turns out as a young woman will be a direct reflection on my abilities as a “Mom” in raising her. ¬†12 years, so far so good… I’m¬†crossing my fingers the next 12 aren’t too bad. ¬†
                          I love you Dano.  To the moon and back.  


Photo shoot..

Real quick… just wanted to post a pic of my Lovey from her photoshoot.. ¬†She looks beautiful.. ya I know.. I am biased, but really she’s kinda pretty.. ūüėČ ¬†A LOT happened over the new year holiday, so I will get back a little later with an update… ¬† Hope everyone had a SAFE New Years and is ready to kick some ass this year! ¬†¬†

Here is my Dano..