Frustrated Parent..

Ok so last night, I posted this on G+: 
You do everything you can to be a good parent… To be the BEST parent you can be to your child. You teach them trust and the dangers and damages of lies. WHY for the love of God don’t they listen?! It is soo frustrating and I don’t know that I’ll ever live up to the Good parenting standards. I was a good kid I had pretty high hopes that I would be a good parent. But I think there’s only so much I can do and they make their own choices. They have to suffer the consequences but so do I. Live and learn I guess.”
In that vein, of trying to be a good parent, I finally accepted that SOMEHOW thru osmosis or something, Dano has been gifted my wonderful trait of PROCRASTINATION.  oh. goody.  One of the things she HAS to do at school to maintain good grades is umm….  READ.  Now, I LOVE to read.  She must have inherited the lack of desire of reading from her dad.  Anyway, so she has to read like 3 books a trimester to keep her grade up.  I said TRIMESTER.. so like THREE months..  well, today was the cut off to get all the books in and tested to see how well you did.  So what did Dano do?  STARTED her book yesterday morning before school.  REALLY!?!  She stayed up late last night to keep reading it, and this morning at 8:10 she called me to tell me she finished it..  300+ pages.   Ok, I am skeptical.  But, we’ll see.  She told me she will sneak out and text me whether or not she passed the test for the book.  IF she does, we get to celebrate at Spunky Steer’s and have a couple nice Steaks and potatoes for dinner… (Which I REALLY want.. )  but if she doesn’t pass, she’s grounded for like a month.  I hate this part of parenting. I wish it was fun time all the time.  Anyway, back to the post I did last night.  So she’s in counseling with a Psychologist.  And last night she had a meeting with her, and her dad was there too.  I was informed when she got home, that she was not honest with the counselor BECAUSE he was there, and she didn’t want to cause upset with him, so answered the questions the way she thought he wanted to hear.  THAT PISSED ME OFF.  I’ve told her REPEATEDLY to TELL THE TRUTH.  There are consequences for NOT doing that which she is going to learn really quickly.  Not only is SHE going to be upset, I will too because she knew better.  So I called the counselors office to inform them of this, and requested that she meet alone with her again, ASAP to clear the air.  I hope that will work, and I hope Dano learns that she can’t keep doing this.  Hurting someone with the TRUTH is far better than lying to them to keep them happy.  They will eventually find out the truth and that could be devastating.  😦 

Is it just me..

I dunno if it’s a “chick thing”, or what, but seriously, for NO REASON I am in “one of those moods”.. I know I’ve been here before, but this time, I don’t know if I’m depressed, or upset or blah or what.  I’m tired of being thrown under the bus (work related), repeatedly no less, I’m tired of making people a priority when no one does that for me (everyone in general)..  No I don’t do it to get something in return but Christ… I exist too.  I need “help” sometimes too.  I want friends too..  For reals, this is NOT a pity party.. just venting to get it off my chest I think so maybe I’ll feel better..  Dano is making me I~N~S~A~N~E lately.  Her constant “I forgot my homework at school” bullshit is making me go gray like 100x faster than usual.  And, I’m SURE I’m losing my hair too now.  I told her last night, (not very prettily I might add) that I’m done, and at court next month I’m giving the other parental figure joint custody back.  I told her I can’t do it anymore. I go out of my way for her, do everything I can for her, and no matter WHAT I say, it means NOTHING to her.  Ya ya she’s almost 12 and is “at that age” where she doesn’t give two shits about what I say blah blah yadda yadda.  I don’t care.  I am the MOM and if you don’t want to listen to me, and you think it’s bad here.. good, GO STAY WITH HIM.. you will PRAY to whoever to get you out of that.. AGAIN.  So, after I let her have it, (on the drive home when I picked her up from “his” house), she immediately walked into the house, went straight to the shower, then got her pj’s on, made both our lunches (samwiches) for today, got all her school work ready (backpack loaded up) and laid out her school clothes.  All without me saying a word.  Well, besides all the “words” I’d used on the way home.  Maybe it did “click”… we’ll see.  I’ll have a better idea if she conveniently forgets her homework again today…  

side note:  I think I use “”””” (quotes) too much.. reminds me of Joey on Friends mis using “air quotes”.. LMAO!

Ok, so yes.. I’m having a hard day..  Am I a horrible mom for telling her what I did about custody? I mean, really, how much am I do put up with?? I can ground her, but that really does nothing because she’d rather be spending her time doing things with me (Weird child, I know)… suggestions?? THOUGHTS?